SURVEY SAYS- ADVICE ON MAINTAINING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP: PART VI
To read rest of the series and see some of the great answers I received click here Just a few thoughts in no particular order: Before I got married I would have had more discussions about whether to continue to work after children or how long to stay home. If the wife begins to make considerably more money then the husband and she is in her child bearing years there needs be alot of discussion about the role of the husband and if the wife will take a break. Preparations would need to be made to live on one salary. Before entering the divorce process or seeing a lawyer - know the whereabouts of all marital ASSETS. Make copies of all tax returns, have investment statements. make a copy of your spouses pay stub, know all the access codes for all accounts, including credit cards. know the equity in your house and the rate of interest on the mortgage. Ask friends in your local area for recommendations of a divorce attorney. Ask them if they handle cases similar to your own situation. Many times men get a woman attorney. If there is a significant lifestyle at stake, it is absolutely necessary to meet with a financial adviser in advance of filing. You need to know all the various ways money may be earned and/or deferred. A professional will better understanding deferred income program and incentive programs which may effect future income. Get into therapy immediately. Anger and resentment cloud all your judgment when it comes to the children and your spouse. Having an outlet from the beginning will enable you to manage your expectations and reduce stress and anger which can beat you if not contained. Do not share financial burdens with your children. It is not their concern or responsibility. Divorce no matter when it happens is not a nice event for children. The family unit that they knew is no longer intact. I believe my kids wonder why we are divorced. Only time will shed light on it for them.