Questions People are Too Afraid to Ask About Divorce

Are you thinking about divorcing? Vikki Ziegler shares the top mistakes women make when getting divorced, and how to avoid them. Vikki Ziegler, Esq., a matrimonial attorney and Founder of, says there are several common mistakes that women make throughout the divorce process. Vikki says there are three stages of divorce, and each is filled with mistakes you need to avoid in order to quickly bounce back! When Thinking About Separation When you're thinking about getting a divorce, Vikki says it is important to get a "dream team" together for emotional support and financial guidance. Get friends, family, a therapist, your accountant, and maybe a life coach together as your support system. Then, gather all your financial assets. Vikki says you need to know how much is in the marital pot before starting any proceedings. Finally, she says you've got to get educated. Get a lawyer and find out how the law applies to your individual situation. During a Divorce At this stage, you've already retained an attorney. Vikki says it's important to make sure that you have open lines of communication with this attorney, and that you feel that they are billing you correctly. Don't be afraid to approach your dream team to ask for a second pair of eyes, or if something doesn't seem right. Keep your own copy of your file with you at all times. Start thinking about mediation early in the divorce process. This is where parties settle out of court using one unbiased party as an intermediary. This can make your divorce less of a nightmare -- faster and less furious. After a Divorce Vikki says most women don't realize that they need to jump back into the dating pool as soon as possible, which is why she founded She recommends changing up your look, losing weight — anything to shed the person you were — in an attempt to get back your pre-divorce mojo. Warning: A lot of women make the mistake of talking about their children and their ex on their first dates. These topics are not exactly attractive to the new man in your life! Pre-Marital Planning Divorce isn't a fun topic to talk about when you're getting married, but planning before a marriage can greatly reduce your chances of divorce and make the process easier in the event you do. Vikki says most people don't talk about whether they will keep finances separate, who will be responsible for debt, and how they are going to raise their children. Most people can also benefit from a prenuptial agreement, even if they do not have a lot of assets. Vikki says this is a way to divide up liabilities as well, like student loans, credit cards and other bills. Vikki believes many people run to divorce court too quickly. Sometimes, working it out with an expert or therapist is all you need. Need relationship advice? Tell us about it!