Celebrity attorney offers Nutley students relationship advice

BY HASIME KUKAJ STAFF WRITER Nutley Public Affairs Commissioner Steven Rogers thanks BRAVO network’s Vikki Ziegler as she wraps up her talk about "Toxic Relationship" at Nutley High School. Vikki Ziegler once believed that being disrespected, degraded and embarrassed by a partner in a relationship meant being loved. It wasn’t until her adult years, and after a divorce, that she realized it meant the opposite. "You have to believe that you’re worthy, Ziegler told the Sun. "Self-worth self-respect are really huge components ." Ziegler, a celebrity divorce attorney, author and television star, spoke about toxic relationships during an assembly at Nutley High School on Wednesday, April 30. The lecture was part of the Public Affairs’ Department Nutley Young Women’s Initiative. "Toxic relationships do nothing for you but bring you down," she said. "No experience is a bad experience," Ziegler added. "It’s really something to learn and grow from." Freshman and sophomore students listened to Ziegler’s story about a friend’s relationship. She told students that the friend "had it all," from fancy cars to clothes to tattoos. That is, until she was beat up in her boyfriend’s Ferrari one night in California. "They had a great relationship, or that’s what everyone thought," Ziegler recalled. The "friend" Ziegler spoke of was Rihanna, who had been in a relationship with Chris Brown. "That’s exactly the poster child for what love doesn’t look like," Ziegler said. "I don’t care who you are... Rihanna, if you have low self-esteem and don’t believe you’re worthy, you will invite that kind of love into your life, and that’s not a way to live." The Wayne native advised students to respect themselves, know their self-worth and not to tolerate bad behavior. "Being cursed at, yelled at, those things can escalate, she said. At 12, Ziegler decided she wanted to be a lawyer and help children in custody cases, just as she did following her parent’s divorce. "The problem was everyone forgot about me," Ziegler said. "I was the one who was troubled; I was asking to be in relationships that were unhealthy." Through the years, Ziegler, found herself going through her own relationship woes, which resulted in a divorce a year into her first marriage. "I had to go through the embarrassment. I thought of being a divorce attorney, going through my own divorce," she said. Ziegler turned to therapy, books and the religious community to seek guidance through those times. "I would never ever let anyone mistreat me again," she said. "It’s a shield that comes up." Public Affairs Nutley Public Affairs Commissioner Steven Rogers invited Ziegler to talk at the high school. The two met through work on CNN and Fox News. "One of things that we want to do is reach out to young people about relationships, character building and self-esteem," Rogers told the Sun. Aside from being a television analyst, Ziegler is a partner at Ziegler and Zemsky LLC in Livingston, an adjunct professor at Fordham Law School, and author of "The Pre-Marital Planner" and "A Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage." Nutley Public Affairs Commissioner Steven Rogers thanks BRAVO network’s Vikki Ziegler as she wraps up her talk about "Toxic Relationship" at Nutley High School. Vikki Ziegler once believed that being disrespected, degraded and embarrassed by a partner in a relationship meant being loved. It wasn’t until her adult years, and after a divorce, that she realized it meant the opposite. "You have to believe that you’re worthy, Ziegler told the Sun. "Self-worth self-respect are really huge components ." Ziegler, a celebrity divorce attorney, author and television star, spoke about toxic relationships during an assembly at Nutley High School on Wednesday, April 30. The lecture was part of the Public Affairs’ Department Nutley Young Women’s Initiative. "Toxic relationships do nothing for you but bring you down," she said. "No experience is a bad experience," Ziegler added. "It’s really something to learn and grow from." Freshman and sophomore students listened to Ziegler’s story about a friend’s relationship. She told students that the friend "had it all," from fancy cars to clothes to tattoos. That is, until she was beat up in her boyfriend’s Ferrari one night in California. "They had a great relationship, or that’s what everyone thought," Ziegler recalled. The "friend" Ziegler spoke of was Rihanna, who had been in a relationship with Chris Brown. "That’s exactly the poster child for what love doesn’t look like," Ziegler said. "I don’t care who you are... Rihanna, if you have low self-esteem and don’t believe you’re worthy, you will invite that kind of love into your life, and that’s not a way to live." The Wayne native advised students to respect themselves, know their self-worth and not to tolerate bad behavior. "Being cursed at, yelled at, those things can escalate, she said. At 12, Ziegler decided she wanted to be a lawyer and help children in custody cases, just as she did following her parent’s divorce. "The problem was everyone forgot about me," Ziegler said. "I was the one who was troubled; I was asking to be in relationships that were unhealthy." Through the years, Ziegler, found herself going through her own relationship woes, which resulted in a divorce a year into her first marriage. "I had to go through the embarrassment. I thought of being a divorce attorney, going through my own divorce," she said. Ziegler turned to therapy, books and the religious community to seek guidance through those times. "I would never ever let anyone mistreat me again," she said. "It’s a shield that comes up." Public Affairs Nutley Public Affairs Commissioner Steven Rogers invited Ziegler to talk at the high school. The two met through work on CNN and Fox News. "One of things that we want to do is reach out to young people about relationships, character building and self-esteem," Rogers told the Sun. Aside from being a television analyst, Ziegler is a partner at Ziegler and Zemsky LLC in Livingston, an adjunct professor at Fordham Law School, and author of "The Pre-Marital Planner" and "A Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage." Ziegler will be featured in "Untying the Knot," premiering at 10 p.m. Wednesday, June 4, on Bravo. The show features Ziegler, and appraisers Michael and Mark Millea, helping couples divide their assets during a divorce. Ziegler also makes an appearance in the upcoming season of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," in which she offers advice to housewife Dina Manzo. A student asked Ziegler if her first divorce had been her only bad relationship. "I had great relationships, but I also had very bad ones," Ziegler said. "You have to know when it’s bad to get out of it." Jocelyn Lopez, an NHS freshman in a three-month relationship, said that she notices unhealthy relationships occurring in the high school halls. "You shouldn’t get involved in a relationship with someone that hurts you," Lopez said. Ziegler told students that to be in a healthy relationship, one must be healthy first. Following the assembly, Rogers said that Ziegler received dozens of text messages and emails from the students. Email: kukaj@northjersey.com