Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Engaged: 3 Things They Need To Do Before Saying 'I Do'

Posted: 04/30/2012 3:51 pm

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", the old adage reads from Benjamin Franklin.

For better or worse. In sickness and in health. To love and honor... Vows soon-to-be newlyweds recite on the day of their weddings. But really, what about premarital planning? Brides and grooms spend countless hours discussing wedding guests, flowers, menus for the reception -- few devote significant time to the all-important conversations on issues that will affect their entire married life including finances, children, healthcare and estate planning.

Enter the Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt, 48 and Angelina Jolie, 36, who are finally tying the knot after seven years of dating, cohabiting and six children together. According to Forbes, Brad is worth an estimated $150 million, while Angelina is worth $120 million, equaling a net worth of $270 million. Both Brad and Angelina have been married before, once and twice respectively, dramatically increasing their chances of divorce (to over 60 percent), so the odds are clearly stacked against them. The burning question is: can they beat the odds and make their marriage last?

Because Brad and Angelina have a lot to lose in the event they divorce, both financially and emotionally, they need to truly work on staying happily married from the beginning. That is where I come in! Here are a guidelines on what this couple needs to do in order to build a marriage from the ground up based on respect and honesty and to make it last.

1. Discuss entering into a prenuptial agreement.

Good communication about money is essential to ensuring a successful partnership well into the future. But make no mistake, bringing up the topic of prenuptial agreements can be extremely difficult, and even starting that financial conversation can be overwhelming.
Prenuptial agreements are often used as financial planning tools to help resolve many issues regarding property ownership, resolution of debt, division of business interests, spousal support, and other asset-based issues that might arise in the event of a divorce. A married couple must work together to understand how they will run their financial lives. If a prenuptial agreement is right for you, it should reflect the spirit of your partnership and be viewed as a financial counterpart to your wedding vows.

Without a prenuptial agreement, Brad and Angelina have hundreds of millions to lose in the event of divorce. They should absolutely enter into a prenuptial agreement and work together to share in their marital earnings. I would suggest they keep all other premarital assets separate, to preserve what they worked so hard to acquire. IF things are going well five, 10 or 15 years down the road they can rip up the prenuptial agreement and live financially happily ever after.

2. Know your roles and expectations.

Roles and expectations are created and defined when two people enter into a romantic relationship, and they begin to change and modify as the partnership grows. A role defines how you and your partner handle responsibilities, assume leadership on an emotional and financial level, divide household tasks, and parent together. Expectations may be based on previous relationships, family dynamics, or images picked up from the media. Those images in particular can lead to unrealistic beliefs that can contribute to dissatisfaction in a marriage. If you're expecting your partner to leave rose petals on the bed, run your bath water every night, and cook breakfast for you on the weekends, you're bound to be disappointed at some point.

In traditional or religious households, the expectations are often that people get married at a young age, and that men and women should stick to traditional gender roles. They might ask, "Did your mother take care of the needs of the household while your father went out to work? Or was it the opposite? If both of your parents worked, were you left alone or with your siblings to take care of you?" If you were unhappy with the way your parents handled things, it's likely that you'll want your own marriage to be different.
Despite being busy actors and film producers, Brad and Angelina should still be able to create their own roles and expectations within their family dynamic, regardless of tradition. It's also critical for them to acknowledge the roles that they're currently playing and the expectations that they share for future roles. Sharing the roles will allow them to enjoy their careers but also co-parent effectively and without one parent feeling like they are shouldering all of the responsibilities themselves. That's what a marriage truly is -- a partnership. 3. Establish parameters for a happy marriage.

As Angelina and Brad's lives become hectic with movies, interviews and juggling six children, it's important for them to stay tuned into what's going on with their lives. Knowing the parameters for a happy marriage will help, but Brad and Angelina will need these skills in order to be able to follow them: Direct, honest, and assertive communication is crucial. Brad and Angelina need to talk to each other about their dreams, their goals, their feelings, their needs, their wants, their everything. Communication, listening, and conflict resolution skills within a marriage tend to be more charged with emotion than in other relationships and can evolve into unhealthy patterns.

Talking about these topics is not easy. But these kinds of conversations are essential to ensuring a firm foundation for a happy and healthy marriage. The key to a happy, healthy and long-lasting marriage appears to weigh heavily on honesty and careful planning. Discussing vital topics such as children, money, family relationships' and dynamics, prior relationships will lead couples to a stronger union. You can live together for years but getting married changes the legal aspect of your relationship.

As a practicing attorney for more than a decade, Vikki S. Ziegler (www.VikkiZiegler.com) was named one of the "Top 40 Lawyers Under 40" by New Jersey Law Journal, Top Lawyer Under 40 by NJ BIZ, included in Super Lawyers for the past several years, and has appeared on many national television shows to comment on high-profile divorce and custody cases, including the trials of Madonna, Tiger Woods, Sandra Bullock, and Mel Gibson. Ziegler is the author of "The Premarital Planner: Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage". She is recently engaged, and is certainly living by the rules she presents in her book.

Nationally Acclaimed Divorce Attorney

Wants To Save You THREE Years of Your Salary—

BEFORE You Walk Down the Aisle!..

…And, If You’ve Already Tied The Knot, She Wants to Save—Not Sever—Your Marriage!

Just in Time for June (“Wedding Month”),

It could have saved Heidi Klum, JLo, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry…and You!  Did you know that most Americans will spend one year of their salary on a wedding—and more than two years’ worth of paychecks on a divorce?  Nationally acclaimed matrimonial attorney, Vikki S. Ziegler, Esq., is armed to help loving couples speak now about a lot of important matrimonial issues before they hold their peace! In her new book, The Premarital Planner: Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage -Ziegler demystifies the disastrous reasons why people end their marriage—going far beyond a pre-nuptial agreement—and shows how to tackle and defuse the most common divorce-provoking issues, before you walk down the aisle!

Why Vikki Ziegler and The Premarital Planner are a must for divorce prevention:

• The average cost of a wedding (for average American couples in the real world, not reality TV) is $24,000, (about a year’s salary), according to theweddingreport.com. The average cost of divorce? According to the experts at divorce360.com, it ranges from a low-end of $53,000 (more than two years’ worth of the average American’s paychecks!) to a high-end of $188,000;

• Based on national divorce statistics, an estimated 40 to 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Based on national surveys, two of the top ten reasons people get divorced are: lack of commitment toward marriage and lack of communication between spouses;

• The Premarital Planner offers quizzes, worksheets, and other interactive exercises to ease couples into opening up and discussing difficult but vital topics, including financial matters (borrowing, budgeting, saving, and future goals—even coming clean about past and present debt), family dynamics, children, healthcare, religion, and estate planning, to affirm their commitment to marriage before they commit to a legal contract;                                                 

It’s Time to Stop the Divorce Epidemic

and Invest in your Marriage

THE PREMARITAL PLANNER

Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage  

Vikki S. Ziegler, Esq.

        Nationally-Acclaimed Matrimonial Attorney and Civil Litigator

We’re all familiar with the sobering facts about marriage in America. Based on national statistics, roughly half of all marriages will end in divorce. We’ve all heard the truth, because marriage experts and struggling couples repeatedly state it: Marriage is hard work. Yet, too often, people in love get swept up in the romance, ignore the truth, and believe their marriage will last forever—until they can’t escape the sad fact that they need to hire a divorce lawyer.                                                                        

After more than a decade of working with financial planners, family therapists, life coaches, and many unhappy couples in her family law practice, and as a child of divorce, nationally recognized matrimonial attorney, Vikki S. Ziegler, knows why so many marriages fail. More importantly, she knows how to help people in love embrace the truth—making a marriage work takes work—and avoid the emotional and financial pain of divorce. Her new book, THE PREMARITAL PLANNER: Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage walks couples through laying the groundwork for a strong, happy, and enduring marriage before they walk down the aisle.

“I’ve discovered that the keys to a long-lasting marriage are honesty and careful planning,” Ziegler attests. “Yet, while brides and grooms spend countless hours discussing wedding guest lists, flowers, and menus for the reception, few devote significant time to the all-important conversations on issues which will affect their entire married life: finances, children, healthcare, estate planning, and family dynamics.”      

To ease couples into bringing up unromantic topics and dealing with potentially contentious matters in advance, THE PREMARITAL PLANNER offers questionnaires, quizzes, and worksheets made for working on together. With Ziegler as their pre-marriage counselor and motivator, couples will engage in candid, thoughtful discussions about the all the critical issues they need to face and settle before sealing their commitment with a kiss—and a legal contract. Among many must-discuss subjects, interactive exercises delve into:

• Who will be the breadwinner, the caretaker, the homemaker?—getting real and clear about defining roles and expectations in a marriage;
• Marital money matters—urging couples to share their views on borrowing, their budgeting practices, their spending habits, and their long-term financial goals, as well as air out their financial laundry;
• A place to call home—from revealing each partner’s living preferences (location, type of neighborhood, and more) to deciding how much of their combined monthly income to invest in a mortgage;
• In sickness and in health—confronting the ultimate questions about life insurance policies, living wills, and power of attorney;
• And baby makes three?—starting with, “Do we really want children?,” and then moving on to the details of how many and when, childcare, childrearing, and openness to alternate routes to parenthood;                      
• Living together—gauging whether a couple is ready to take their (possible) marriage for a test drive through taking The Cohabitation Compatibility Quiz; and
• Ready or not?—with penetrating questions to help each partner determine for him/herself: How much do I really know about and love my future spouse? Am I ready for the commitment of marriage?    

Couples contemplating a second (or third or fourth) marriage and same-sex couples will also find specific questions and exercises related to their particular concerns. But that’s not all. In THE PREMARITAL PLANNER, Ziegler helps couples get comfortable with the legal language of love, from key factors to consider when applying for a marriage license to when to insist on a prenuptial agreement. The book wraps up with tips and a timeline to make the fun side of wedding planning less stressful, and some basic rules and skills for a happy, healthy, and highly successful marriage. First and foremost, Ziegler advises couples: Be and remain best friends.                                                                                   

          Packed with practical, legal, and emotional information, and using a unique method to get couples talking and working together, THE PREMARITAL PLANNER is the pre-wedding gift every loving couple should give themselves.                                                                                                

# # #

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Vikki S. Ziegler, Esq., is one of America’s preeminent attorneys specializing in matrimonial law and civil litigation, the innovator of a unique and realistic approach to “divorce management,” and a popular expert source and media commentator on legal issues. A member of the New Jersey State, New York State, and District of Columbia Bar Associations, she was ranked among the “Top 40 Lawyers under 40” by New Jersey Law Journal in 2006, “Top Lawyers under 40” by NJ BIZ in 2008, included in the “50 Best Women in Business” by NJ BIZ in 2012, and recognized as a “rising star” in Super Lawyers magazine in 2010, 2011 and 2012. She frequently appears on the Fox News Channel, Fox 5, CNN, CNBC, Fox Business Channel, CBS, HLN, and talk radio shows across the country to discuss high-profile cases relating to marriage and divorce. In addition, Ziegler is an adjunct professor at Fordham Law School and the CEO of divorcedating.com, a website devoted to helping newly divorced singles navigate the dating environment.  

Nationally Acclaimed Divorce Attorney

Wants To Save You THREE Years of Your Salary—

BEFORE You Walk Down the Aisle!..

…And, If You’ve Already Tied The Knot, She Wants to Save—Not Sever—Your Marriage!

Just in Time for June (“Wedding Month”),

It could have saved Heidi Klum, JLo, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry…and You!  Did you know that most Americans will spend one year of their salary on a wedding—and more than two years’ worth of paychecks on a divorce?  Nationally acclaimed matrimonial attorney, Vikki S. Ziegler, Esq., is armed to help loving couples speak now about a lot of important matrimonial issues before they hold their peace! In her new book, The Premarital Planner: Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage -Ziegler demystifies the disastrous reasons why people end their marriage—going far beyond a pre-nuptial agreement—and shows how to tackle and defuse the most common divorce-provoking issues, before you walk down the aisle!

Why Vikki Ziegler and The Premarital Planner are a must for divorce prevention:

• The average cost of a wedding (for average American couples in the real world, not reality TV) is $24,000, (about a year’s salary), according to theweddingreport.com. The average cost of divorce? According to the experts at divorce360.com, it ranges from a low-end of $53,000 (more than two years’ worth of the average American’s paychecks!) to a high-end of $188,000;

• Based on national divorce statistics, an estimated 40 to 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Based on national surveys, two of the top ten reasons people get divorced are: lack of commitment toward marriage and lack of communication between spouses;

• The Premarital Planner offers quizzes, worksheets, and other interactive exercises to ease couples into opening up and discussing difficult but vital topics, including financial matters (borrowing, budgeting, saving, and future goals—even coming clean about past and present debt), family dynamics, children, healthcare, religion, and estate planning, to affirm their commitment to marriage before they commit to a legal contract;                                                 

It’s Time to Stop the Divorce Epidemic

and Invest in your Marriage

THE PREMARITAL PLANNER

Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage  

Vikki S. Ziegler, Esq.

        Nationally-Acclaimed Matrimonial Attorney and Civil Litigator

We’re all familiar with the sobering facts about marriage in America. Based on national statistics, roughly half of all marriages will end in divorce. We’ve all heard the truth, because marriage experts and struggling couples repeatedly state it: Marriage is hard work. Yet, too often, people in love get swept up in the romance, ignore the truth, and believe their marriage will last forever—until they can’t escape the sad fact that they need to hire a divorce lawyer.                                                                        

After more than a decade of working with financial planners, family therapists, life coaches, and many unhappy couples in her family law practice, and as a child of divorce, nationally recognized matrimonial attorney, Vikki S. Ziegler, knows why so many marriages fail. More importantly, she knows how to help people in love embrace the truth—making a marriage work takes work—and avoid the emotional and financial pain of divorce. Her new book, THE PREMARITAL PLANNER: Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage walks couples through laying the groundwork for a strong, happy, and enduring marriage before they walk down the aisle.

“I’ve discovered that the keys to a long-lasting marriage are honesty and careful planning,” Ziegler attests. “Yet, while brides and grooms spend countless hours discussing wedding guest lists, flowers, and menus for the reception, few devote significant time to the all-important conversations on issues which will affect their entire married life: finances, children, healthcare, estate planning, and family dynamics.”      

To ease couples into bringing up unromantic topics and dealing with potentially contentious matters in advance, THE PREMARITAL PLANNER offers questionnaires, quizzes, and worksheets made for working on together. With Ziegler as their pre-marriage counselor and motivator, couples will engage in candid, thoughtful discussions about the all the critical issues they need to face and settle before sealing their commitment with a kiss—and a legal contract. Among many must-discuss subjects, interactive exercises delve into:

• Who will be the breadwinner, the caretaker, the homemaker?—getting real and clear about defining roles and expectations in a marriage;
• Marital money matters—urging couples to share their views on borrowing, their budgeting practices, their spending habits, and their long-term financial goals, as well as air out their financial laundry;
• A place to call home—from revealing each partner’s living preferences (location, type of neighborhood, and more) to deciding how much of their combined monthly income to invest in a mortgage;
• In sickness and in health—confronting the ultimate questions about life insurance policies, living wills, and power of attorney;
• And baby makes three?—starting with, “Do we really want children?,” and then moving on to the details of how many and when, childcare, childrearing, and openness to alternate routes to parenthood;                      
• Living together—gauging whether a couple is ready to take their (possible) marriage for a test drive through taking The Cohabitation Compatibility Quiz; and
• Ready or not?—with penetrating questions to help each partner determine for him/herself: How much do I really know about and love my future spouse? Am I ready for the commitment of marriage?    

Couples contemplating a second (or third or fourth) marriage and same-sex couples will also find specific questions and exercises related to their particular concerns. But that’s not all. In THE PREMARITAL PLANNER, Ziegler helps couples get comfortable with the legal language of love, from key factors to consider when applying for a marriage license to when to insist on a prenuptial agreement. The book wraps up with tips and a timeline to make the fun side of wedding planning less stressful, and some basic rules and skills for a happy, healthy, and highly successful marriage. First and foremost, Ziegler advises couples: Be and remain best friends.                                                                                   

          Packed with practical, legal, and emotional information, and using a unique method to get couples talking and working together, THE PREMARITAL PLANNER is the pre-wedding gift every loving couple should give themselves.                                                                                                

# # #

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Vikki S. Ziegler, Esq., is one of America’s preeminent attorneys specializing in matrimonial law and civil litigation, the innovator of a unique and realistic approach to “divorce management,” and a popular expert source and media commentator on legal issues. A member of the New Jersey State, New York State, and District of Columbia Bar Associations, she was ranked among the “Top 40 Lawyers under 40” by New Jersey Law Journal in 2006, “Top Lawyers under 40” by NJ BIZ in 2008, included in the “50 Best Women in Business” by NJ BIZ in 2012, and recognized as a “rising star” in Super Lawyers magazine in 2010, 2011 and 2012. She frequently appears on the Fox News Channel, Fox 5, CNN, CNBC, Fox Business Channel, CBS, HLN, and talk radio shows across the country to discuss high-profile cases relating to marriage and divorce. In addition, Ziegler is an adjunct professor at Fordham Law School and the CEO of divorcedating.com, a website devoted to helping newly divorced singles navigate the dating environment.  

Celebrity Divorces: How To Handle A Hollywood Breakup

There’s an art to doing anything in Hollywood, including getting a divorce. The timing has to be just right, the narrative has to be phrased just so and those involved have to agree on the party line.

If someone does it wrong, that person is a jerk. But a celeb who does it right can bolster his or her bottom line.

Tis' the season for divorce in Tinseltown, and a lot of celebrities are handling their splits with dignity and grace. Then there are the rest of them.

Here's a take on how to nail down the perfect Hollywood divorce strategy. And even non-celebrities can learn from these very public examples.

1. Publicly compromise. Katy Perry and Russell Brand provide an example of one of the best divorced couples on the scene right now. They practically issued a press release about how amicable things were. He simply gave her their Los Angeles house. They both have enough money to support themselves and bickering over every little asset would make them seem selfish and petty to their fans.

“Katy and Russell are these flamboyant, out-there people but they seem to be having a drama-free divorce," said relationship expert Tracey Steinberg. "He didn't even try to fight her for the house or any of her money, which made him look pretty classy.”

Steinberg added, "Both are coming off as mature people whose relationship just didn't work out.”

2. Focus on the kids. That’s what everyone wants to hear about -- how the children are handling everything. By putting the spotlight on the kids, the focus is removed from either of the parents. If this seems a little devious, it definitely is but it works.

After news broke about Heidi Klum and Seal’s decision to split, he gave an interview to "Access Hollywood" about how they were helping the kids through the difficult time.

“The main thing is to make sure that they feel that they're loved, make sure that they understand that their parents love each other, make sure that they understand if there are any changes, it is absolutely nothing to do with them," Seal said.

Andrea Syrtash, a relationship expert and author of "Cheat on Your Husband (With Your Husband)," says Klum and Seal have done a great job in conveying that they have deep love and respect for each other.

“It's smart of them to handle it this way in media, since kids don't need to see their parents trash talking each other,” Syrtash said.

The divorce of Jennie Garth and "Twilight" actor Peter Facinelli offers another example of playing nice during a split.

“She’ll always be in my life," Facinelli said on "Live! With Kelly" in April. " I love her." He added that he and his ex are "very dedicated to being great parents" to their three daughters.

Heidi and Seal, Peter and Jennie -- they know what they are doing.

3. Know when to shut up. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook present a classic case of ex-bashing gone wild.

"When they divorced four years ago, it was a media frenzy and unfortunately they are still publicly bashing each other," Steinberg said. "He recently went on 'Nightline' to talk badly about her, and then she went on the 'Today' show to talk badly about him."

Added Steinberg: "They are both saying they want to peacefully move on, but instead they are both trying to drum up sympathy in the media. which is just making them both look childish."

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries demonstrate another example of slinging the mud in public. That likely won’t bode well for either of them in the court of opinion or in a court of law.

"Speaking about your divorce case in a negative fashion never fares well," explained divorce attorney Vikki Ziegler. "Publicly bashing your soon-to-be ex demonstrates a lack of credibility and leaves a bad taste in the court's mouth."

"It can be used as evidence in a courtroom and can have a very negative impact on the judge deciding the case," Ziegler added. "Judges want to be the ones making decisions that are binding on the parties and don’t need any complicating factors including the public dissemination of dirty laundry."

Check out this book!!

http://www.thesevenpearls.com/our_experts/author/vikki-s-ziegler

Lindsay Lohan Has Kept Her Lawyers In Business?

And has sent all of their kids to college and paid off the mortgage of their summer houses and bought them all new cars!

Funny how she doesn't have any of those things herself, huh?

Let's be blunt: Lindsay Lohan has been a mess that past few years. We're glad to see her finally getting back on her feet and making good on her promise to clean up her act, but it doesn't change the fact that we've seen her more times in an orange jumper than we have at movie premieres. Considering that fact and the fact that we're all still in a hard economic time, we began to wonder just how much money LiLo has spent on her lawyers over the last say, oh let's go with five years.

In the opinion of attorney Vikki Ziegler, she may have blown through her ENTIRE Playboy salary — and then some! According to the lawyer:

"If you quantify for the past four and a half years she has needed legal representation, you can generalize that with the amount of time, work and legal challenges, probation hearings, court appearances, etc., the legal fees could be no less that hundreds of thousands of dollars and likely over a million."

WOW! That's just … WOW!

The way Ms. Ziegler explains it, since Lindsay's legal woes are essentially ongoing, she probably had to pay an upfront retainer BEFORE being charged the lawyers hourly rate. The retainer itself could be anyway upwards of $50K and if that is the case, than judging by the amount of times Lindsay has been sentenced to jail, she's already paid $250,000 in legal fees! That's without even going to court!

And where did she come by this money? She didn't have this Playboy check a year ago or two years ago? Where did all this cash flow in from???

Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries’ Divorce Trial Will Be On TV

Kris Humprhies and Kim Kardashian are headed for a very public divorce trial in LA, and it is likely that it will all be open to the public and televised, HollywoodLife.com has learned.

That means that Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries and probably many Kardashians — Kourtney, Khloe and even Kris Jenner too — will have to testify about all aspects of the Kardashian/Humphries marriage for the world to hear and the trial will likely go on for weeks, says family attorney Vikki Zeigler.

Read more: http://www.hollywoodlife.com/2012/02/02/kim-kardashian-kris-humphries-divorce-television-2/